Two Books

1.

Algernon Swift is enjoying Kierkegaard’s existential classic about choosing a paddle (and it not really mattering which one you choose because you’re up sh*t creek anyway).  

(Either Oar)

2.

Algernon Swift sits on a hard chair and reads the latest sensational novel.  The first thing he notices is a dryness in his mouth as he starts to read.  Then, as the exciting plot develops, he experiences a tightness at the pit of his stomach, but after an hour or more this gives way to a tiredness in his eyes and a dull ache in his backside. 

He puts the book down and stands up, and discovers that he has lost all sensation in that part of his anatomy.

*

(“But, pray, what book is he reading?” you ask. 

Answer: a popular erotic novel, slightly censored and now entitled Fifty Dashes of Grey.)

A Sunset and Badbrook Hall

This is my drawing from last weekend’s Secret Artist (in fact, a slightly different version of it).  In something of a departure, it does not feature a pun. 

Modern Leisure

Like all members of the truly leisured classes, Algernon Swift has no idea what leisure is: he’s busy all the time (whether it’s thinking about Sumerian grammar, sourcing the finest cod roe, writing an inventory of remembered smells, or wearing in a new pair of shoes).  

Reverend Hawker, in turn, struggles with the concept of modernity.  What’s modern, he says, changes with each succeeding age, so really there is only a succession of moderns (just as there is only a succession of present moments).  The trick is to choose a modern that suits one.  He decides to plump for what was modern c. 1850 and, adjusting his starched collar and straightening his cape, congratulates himself on being a very modern man indeed.

So it is with no little irony that Hawker and Swift find themselves transporting the Hawker’s Pot suitcase (along railway tracks in the dead of night, through snowy fields and under the noses of sleeping dogs) to bring it to an art fair called Modern Leisure at Badbrook Hall in Stroud.

The Hawker’s Pot suitcase will be here at the opening on Friday November 30th 6-9pm

then Sat 1st/Sun 2nd and Sat 8th/Sun 9th Dec 10am – 4pm

Please come by, if you’re in the vicinity!

(Badbrook Hall, Bath St. Stroud GL5 3BZ, or: across the road from the Star Anise café.)

Secret Artist and Fey Spook

I have a drawing in this year’s Secret Artist in the Museum in the Park in Stroud.  I will post a picture of it next week, when everyone’s identity has been revealed.  If you’re in the area, please do drop in – the exhibition is open between 11am and 4pm on both Saturday and Sunday and it’s all for a good cause (the Museum’s Walled Garden restoration project).

In the meantime, here is a joke that bitter market research with the Hawker’s Pot suitcase has shown that roughly one in ninety-five people finds amusing.  A big prize of imaginary pottery goes to the first person to post the answer in the Comments box!