Friday 22 July 2011

Oh dear.

All that was left of the once-mighty reindeer herd ...

... was a few last remaindeers.

Thursday 14 July 2011

Wisdom of Hawker's Pot #8

Depth is really only shallowness multiplied many, many times.

Too Much for Any Body

Algernon Swift laments the physicality of human life.

“Everywhere I go, it’s the same. People knuckle down and shoulder their responsibilities. They make a fist of it. They toe the line and foot the bill and hand over cash. Some try backing out. Some leg it. They get things off their chests, they make a clean breast of it. What’s worse is when they start necking and head for the bedroom ...”

“But why do you have to go on about it so?” exclaims exasperated Reverend Hawker.

“Because I mind,” says Swift. “I MIND!”

Thursday 7 July 2011

Some Aunts

The Aunt of Michelangelo, The Aunts and Crafts Movement, The Dark Aunts of Aleister Crowley, The Decorative Aunts, The Dramatic Aunts, The Erotic Aunts of the Orient, The Liberal Aunts

Q: Why (you ask) this sudden enthusiasm for Aunts?

A: It’s just something I got into at Aunt College.

Q: Then your enthusiasm is qualified?

A: Certainly. It grew by degrees. First I became a Bachelor of Aunts, then a Master of Aunts. But it all started for me when I read Robert Hughes’ book about Modern Aunt movements The Shock of the N(eph)ew.

... The Martial Aunts, The Plastic Aunts, The Sacred Aunts, “In my Craft and Sullen Aunt”, Zen and the Aunt of Motorcycle Maintenance. And, of course, the Japanese have an Aunt for everything: Flower-Arranging, Tea, Calligraphy, etc.

Q: Your interest in the Aunts is certainly timely. For currently many Aunts bodies are under threat.

A: This government has a complete disregard for the Aunts. (See Why The Aunts Matter, a publication of the Aunts Council.) And yet there are still spots in the country where the Aunts are flourishing:

(for instance, in the many aunted houses that litter our counties).

Saturday 2 July 2011