Wednesday 14 August 2013

Algernon and Mavis (Part 1)

The Story so Far:  Algernon has received a series of greetings cards from the terrifically attractive Mavis Wright, a woman who causes our hero a good deal of nervousness.  In each card (and quite suggestively to Algernon’s mind) she has placed a large X after her name.  Now they meet up at the Cafe Deluxe and Mavis continues in the same vein:

Mavis showily places on the table a book she has been reading.  It is called The Confessions of A Marrying Man.  She winks at Algernon.
 “Completely X-rated,” she says.
“More likely X-(agge)rated,” sniffs Algernon.
 “No, really,” says Mavis.  “First he X her on the carpet, then he X her on the stairs, and finally he X her on the telephone ...”
Algernon gasps.
 “He does what?”
“He X her to marry him, of course,” says Mavis. 
(Algernon, naturally, has forgotten what a refined way of speaking Mavis has.)
“But no doubt he was carrying on with other women at the same time?” he demands.
“No,” says Mavis, “he really had put all his X in one basket.”
Mavis picks up a little teaspoon and stirs her coffee with brisk satisfaction
while Algernon sighs, wonders Y things are never simple, and puts hi’ Z  in his hands.