Sunday 18 September 2016

God Talks (Part 9)

* I mean, he’s just like some fertility god.
That’s not very original, is it?
He hasn’t even got any abstract qualities.
OK, I haven’t got any either, but I’m going to GET some soon ...
I’m not going to be a tribal deity all my life, I can tell you!
And, I mean, he’s like all “Come round to my house for a cultic orgy.”
I mean, yeah right, get over yourself ...


Don’t forget, Miserable Malcolm is performing at the Cheltenham Comedy Festival this Wednesday at The Strand at 8pm. More details here:

Sunday 4 September 2016

Hawker's Pot Greetings Cards

My Hawker’s Pot greetings cards (including the one pictured) are now being stocked in various shops bookshops and cardshops in Gloucestershire, Somerset and Wiltshire (for a full list see the updated “Physical Stockists of Hawker’s Pot Cards” to the right).

So if you’re passing one of these places, you may want to pop in and buy a card. If, however, you are not in one of these three Western counties, I really don’t know what to suggest.  

God Talks (Part 8)

And don’t forget, Miserable Malcolm is performing “Graveside Manner” three times next weekend at the Stroud Theatre Festival. The times are Friday 9 September 8pm, Saturday 10 September 9pm and Sunday 11 September 8pm, all in the Kendrick Room, which is the upstairs bar in Stroud Subscription Rooms. 
This is the last time Miserable Malcolm will be performing this show in Stroud, although he will continue to do it elsewhere (including at the Cheltenham Comedy Festival on Wednesday 21st September.)

Saturday 13 August 2016

God Talks (Part 6)

And speaking of promises, Miserable Malcolm will be at Angie Belcher’s Summer Cabaret Depot at Zion Bristol (Bishopsworth Road, Bristol, BS13 7JW) this Friday with a host of other talent.  More details here:

Friday 29 July 2016

Miserable Jack Horner and Friends


Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner
Eating his heart out.

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Full of cares and woe.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
In despair.

Oh, the grand old Duke of York
He had ten thousand men
And they were depressed a lot of the time.

Margery Daw,
Having terrible mood swings.

Monday 25 July 2016

Robert and Clara Schumann, Joke-writers (Part 1)

Robert and Clara Schumann wrote some of the greatest jokes of the nineteenth century. Later, Robert was driven mad by his own punch lines. But today Robert and Clara’s jokes are repeated all round the world.

Sunday 17 July 2016

God Talks (Part 4)

Miserable Malcolm will be performing “Graveside Manner” at the Reading Fringe Festival next Sunday (24th July). It’s at 5pm in the Milk Bar (8 Merchants Place, Reading, RG1 1DT). Tickets are £6 online at or on the door.  If you’re in the area and need your Sunday ruining, please come along. More details on facebook here.

Friday 8 July 2016

Miserable Malcolm at Priddy, and if Wishes were Horses ....

Miserable Malcolm will be appearing at Priddy Folk Festival tomorrow (and is unlikely to have cheered up, to be honest).  He will be doing a 40 minute set at the Words Wizard Cabaret along with Trevor Carter (Bristol Storyteller of the Year 2014) and Spikey Tim (a Dr Seuss for Grown Ups).  The Words Wizard Cabaret takes place between 6 and 8pm in the Goatchurch Tent. Malcolm will be banging on about his usual themes, lost love, death and misery, and hopes that’ll go down all right with a folk audience.