Monday 28 June 2010

Light Years, Dark Ages

AD 449 and the staff at the Daily Tablet are covering the Saxon invasion of Britain. Ace reporter Gallo comes back without a story to furious editor Brennius. “Hey!” says Gallo, “I’m still looking for an Angle.” Finally the team get some copy down, but Brennius says it’s far too dull. “What!” gasp the team, “are you suggesting Saxon up the document?” (Click here, to see the document after Saxon up.)

(This was a disastrous day of reporting for the Daily Tablet team, but nothing as bad as their coverage of the Jute invasion: that resulted in all-round sacking.)

Tuesday 22 June 2010

The Hawker's Pot Song.

(For what is a website without a song?)

The hawker’s pot is full tonight,
The moon rides high, the tides delay.
As gay as larks, as wild as hawks!
The hawker rides the old high way.

The hawker travels down the lanes
Where farm dogs growl beneath the trees.
He has sharp words, the dogs sharp teeth,
The hawker finds it best to leave.

The hawker walks long paths by night
And blows his nail and blows his horn.
He hawks his wares, but where’s his hawk?
It rides the ancient airs forlorn.

The hawker’s pot is full tonight.
(Cry fol-de-rol for what is not!)
As wild as larks, as gay as hawks!
(All in, all in, the hawker’s pot!)

*For further information concerning the Hawker figure in the folksongs of Dorsetshire and the mysterious identity of his Pot, see the pamphlet by Percival Tredinnick: The Hawker figure in the folksongs of Dorsetshire and the mysterious identity of his Pot (collected in the Transactions of the Worshipful Company of Hawkers and Potters, To me Hip! fol the day, Hip! fol the day, To my Hip! fol the day, fol the digee, oh; Beaminster, 1973)

Friday 18 June 2010

Thursday 3 June 2010

Time for some Smut

Chimney Smut.

One for the connoisseur. Authentic Victorian Chimney Smut:

Those Victorians knew what they were about, eh?

And, if that wasn't enough for you: some Pure Unadulterated Smut.

Good Lord!
(Reasons of decency prevent me from showing you the chimney flashing.)