Affairs of the Hat

Everyone is familiar with the song “I Left My Hat in San Francisco”  but here at Hawker’s Pot we prefer Celine Dion’s truly majestic

“My Hat Will Go On”

in which 

a man wearing a hat boards the Titanic in Liverpool; 

the Titanic sinks; 

the man’s hat arrives in New York two months later.

( -- although a tiny bit of research shows that the song originally had nothing to do with the Titanic and was entirely about Miss Dion trying to get her hat on.)

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Meanwhile, it’s a fine line between love and hat, and love-talk is never easy:

he:   Oh you darling beautiful woman, I have lost my hat!  Entirely!

she:  Well, how about that?  Did you leave it on a luggage rack?  Or did the wind blow it off in the park?

he:   I meant, my heart!

she:  Or did a dog run away with it?  Did it get stuck in a tree?

he:   How can you laugh at me, when it is because of you my hat is no longer my own? 

she:  Your hat! (she continues to laugh)

he:   You are, without a doubt, a hard-hatted woman.  I should have seen it at once.

she:  Yes, I like to keep it on at all times – one never knows what’s going to happen. 

   

(Her unwilling adorer continues to beg for the return of his fedora, but his hat-felt pleas fall on deaf ears.)