Thursday 27 May 2010

Show Your Workings

You may have noticed that Hawker’s Pot has been absent for some months. Perhaps you thought we were all on a pleasant holiday, but no! Not us! We were working hard: it was simply our jokes that weren’t working for us. Witness these witless exempla! They just wouldn’t come out.

On their fag-break in the cloisters, the monks stood around chanting ... (No, doesn't work.).... having a chant ... (No.)

The malfunctioning hospital robots were acting like metal patients.

What a change! The care-worn cafe owner walked along the street whistling, as if he didn’t have a cafe in the world.

(NO! The words can’t just look similar on the page. They have to sound similar too!)

The AI robots were suffering from metal fatigue.

(No, still doesn’t work.)

Those overweight stagehands, those sconeshifters!

Tin Girl ...

(What of her?)

... Tin Girl had trouble fighting her enemies on her own, but Pewter Boy proved a useful alloy.

(Nearly ...)

The conifers at the bottom of the garden miss my Love when she is gone. They grieve and drop their leaves. But my Love will not be gone for long. They pine needlesly.

(Oh dear, we have worked on this joke for many, many years, but now we have to face facts: I don’t think it is ever going to work out.)

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